Mockingjay Missing Parts
by caroline444
Summary: So, the book, it s amazing but sometimes i wish they talk more about katniss and peeta, relationship, the missing parts, so i hope you like it. Rate please, and give some ideas of what you would you like me to write.
1. Chapter 1 Back in District 12

This First Chapter its almost the same, when katniss comeback to district 12, but it's the beginning of this story.

Once we got to the victor´s village, Haymitch headed me to the door of my house, but he doesn´t walk trough, and from the corridor i can see that someone has built fire in the fireplace and in the kitchen, but i don´t really care about it.

-Well, see you tomorrow- says Haymitch

I don´t answer, so he finally turns and walks away. As the clinking of his bag of liquor bottles fade away, I whisper -I doubt it.

i head to the hall where the fireplace is, without taking out my boots, i sit in the rocking chair, guarding the letter of my mother that Haymitch gave me, But I won´t opened it.

The swinging of the chair is mild and hypnotic.

The rest of the house become cold and dark only prevails the fire and my shadow, I pull the quilt of the sofa and I wrap myself in and I continue staring at the flames. And I guess I doze off because the last thing I know, it´s morning and I see Greasy Sae in the kitchen.

After she made the breakfast, she made me eat the scramble eggs and french toasts, we don´t really talk much.

Greasy Sae´s granddaughter must be really boring, because she starts to play with a ball of blue yarn taken from my mother´s knitting basket. Greasy Sae tells her to put it back, but I say that she can have it. After all no one will ever knit again.

After breakfast Greasy Sae do the dishes and goes, but by noon she´s back with the same routine, she cooks and makes me eat. I start to think if she being neighborly or it part of some government's payroll, whatever its, she shows up twice a day.

Haymitch never shows, even though he said he would since we arrived to district 12, maybe he change his mind, or maybe he´s just drunk. Only Greasy Sae and sometimes her granddaughter show up, but after solitary confinement, they seem like a crowd.

You know girl, spring is in the air. You have to get out. She says. Go hunting

I haven't left the house. In fact i hadn't walked more than 10 steps that take me from the rocking chair to the dining room or the 10 that take me to the bathroom. I even hadn´t changed my clothes since i arrived to district 12. My only will is be sitting in the rocking chair staring at the fireplace.

i don´t have a bow. I said finally.

Look in the study room. Says Greasy Sae before she goes.

I consider to stand and look for what expects me in the study, I don´t get up. But after several hours, I go anyways, walking in socks toward the study, where I had my tea with president snow back then.

In the table I found a big cardboard box, inside of this, my father's jacket, our plant book, my parent´s wedding photo, the spill that haymitch send me in the quarter quell, then I´m looking for the parachute and the pearl that Peeta gave me that night when our kisses made us forget about the Quarter Quell for a moment, then i remember that i used to carry it with me the pearl on my mockingjay/soldier uniform, which don´t survived after the explosion.

Next I found the bows crafted by my father, as a few handfuls of arrows. I put on the jacket and walk away without touching the rest of the things that just bring back bad memories, I come back to the fire place this time sitting in the sofa where i fall asleep and a terrible nightmare shakes me.

I'm lying on a grave, and they are burying me, every person that was killed because of me says their final goodbyes and they throw a handful of ashes. It´s a long list though, and the ashes are making things difficult to breath. I try to scream, but it is useless, ashes fill my mouth, my nose, my eyes, leaving me in the heavy darkness and the shovel´s scrapes go on and on and on.

I wake up with a jump and the dark it´s about to fade, because I can see the dawn it´s about to rise. And then I hear it again the scrapes of the shovels continues, I run to the door and open it and then I saw him.


	2. Chapter 2

As I saw Peeta, I stopped right away, His face flushed of the effort or maybe of the surprise of seeing me.

You´re back. I said

I wanted to get back sooner, I´m sorry, but Dr. Aurelius didn´t let me, I just arrived a few hours ago. Peeta said. By the way, he said that he couldn´t go on with this, pretending that he´s treating you. You have to answer the phone.

And I felt for the first time a light grin, almost a smile draw my face. He´s looking good, a bit thin, and covered of scars like me, but his eyes seems to have lost that grim and tortured image. He seems a bit confuse cause he´s frowning looking at me.

I start to feel self conscious, and I try to uncover my face of my hair that it´s a total mess.- What are you doing?

I went to the woods this morning to bring this, for her- he says carefully.- I thought we may put them in your garden. And he looked down.

I´m about to scream horrible things to him, but then I see the bushes and the flowers they aren´t roses, and a new name is registered in my mind; those are primrose, primrose of the night. The flower my sister was named for. So I nod of assent, and another word take my mind, Rose, so I rush inside of the house, without closing the door, and I go straight to my room.

The freaking thing it's inside my house, in my room. I'm shaking, and anxious i run up the stairs, but in the last step, I struck against the floor.

Katniss- Peeta said worried

But i stand up and walk in to my room, and there the scent it's just a faint smell, but prevails there, and there it is, on my night stand the white rose on the vase, faint, and shriveled but holding on to the last seconds of perfection, just like Snow.

I take the vase holding my breath and I run down toward the kitchen, where peeta set some fire for tea, I throw the water in the sink and the I throw the rose on the fire, when one more time the fire wins. And for my last act, I throw the vase against the floor.

I see Peeta, who seem to wants to say something, but he doesn't know the words, and finally says something when he sees my hands.

-Katniss, you're bleeding- He sound concerned.

He took my hand gentle, and helped me to wash the wound, it wasn´t deep but he wanted to healed it, but I was so dizzy because the odor of that rose.

-thanks, I need to take a bath. I said before I went up, when I opened the windows to fade the stench of Snow, but it prevails in my skin, in my clothes, in my pores. So I strip and take a shower, with careful to no watch myself in the mirror and the fusion of my new skin, which remind me that I'm a mutt. I left the clothes with stain of blood in the floor and I hop in to the shower and scrub my skin a bit violent to take out the stench of roses, of my hair, my body, my mouth.

As I finished, I wrap myself in a towel and it seems to work the shower, now I can smell the cinnamon, dill, vanilla, ginger, Peeta's scent.


	3. Chapter 3

In my room, over my bed i can see a tray of cookies and a glass of i think is milk, with a note with my name handwritten by Peeta.

"I hope you like it, I made your milk like you used to take it in the train back in those days, I´ll finished planting the flowers, I´ll be back in the night if it´s okay with you. Peeta"

Truth is, the cookies were delicious, and still wrapped on the towel, y drink the sweet warm milk, and for a moment I remember those nights in the train with him. - No nightmares?

-No nightmares- he reassure smiling.

And my heart give a stroke when I think if with all the things that happened, Peeta could make my nightmares go away like he used to, But that´s not gonna happen ever again.

I went to my closet to dress up, pants, and a blouse, and it took me more than 30 minutes to comb out my hair and unmake the knots. Greasy Sae open the front door and I go downstairs with the plates of cookies and I set it on the table.

-I was about to leave. Peeta? -She said. –Out

-Seems that he already made you breakfast. Add Greasy Sae with a smile on her face, a smile of hope. -Just a snack, there.

And the little girl, Greasy Sae´s granddaughter took the cookie with such a joy, that only a child can show. As Greasy Sae starts to make the breakfast, I went to the fireplace to throw my old clothes, and i pare off my nails, by her suggestion.

-just by enter and smell the scent, I knew that Peeta was back- She said. The little girl was standing in one chair, trying to reach another cookie, and i handle one for her.

-Millie, No, those are Katniss´s. She tells her.

-Take as many as you wish Millie, so you do Greasy.

And without insistence this time I eat my breakfast, but no paying attention in chewing it.

Where´s Gale?- I ask eating my eggs.

-District 2, He got a fancy job in there, I see him on TV sometimes. – She said.

I nod once, without paying more attention, because I´m looking for rages, hatred or longing, where I only found relief. – I´m hunting today. I say

-Great, I don´t mind fresh game for a change.

I arm myself with a bow and a quiver and go out, heading to the meadow to leave twelve. As I pass by the square, i can see the squad of people with handkerchiefs on their noses and mouth, and gloves on their hands. I don´t wanna see, but i seems obvious, they´re picking up the pieces, putting the corpses in the horse-drawn carts. Then i see other car, and I recognize it, as I recognize the big house, the mayor´s house. And I see Thom, mate of Gale, who sees me and wave. So I become brave enough to ask.

-They found someone there?

-The entire family, and two people who worked for them. -Thom said.

Madge, quite, kind and brave, my only friend. The girl who gave me the token that gave me my name. I swallow hard, try to undone the knot on my throat, and I wonder if her will add to my nightmares, filling my mouth with ashes.

-You know, i thought that being the mayor...

-I don´t think that being the mayor of twelve put the odds on his favor.- reply Thom, cutting my thought.

I nod and continue moving carefully, so i don't see the back part of the truck.

-You know Katniss, you're the mockingjay, you turned us a phoenix, the beautiful bird who rise from the ashes- Thom started to say.

And it´s not the best time for a pep talk. - I really have to go Thom. I mumble.

o.k, see you around.- he said with a polite smile

Across the town and the seam it´s more of the same, the reaping of the death. As i get close to the ruins of my old house, the path starts to filling with trucks and horse-drawn carts.

The meadow it´s gone, or at least highly altered. There´s a big bit and they´re filling it with bones and corpses, a mass grave for my people.

I skirt around the bit, and enter to the woods on my usually spot, but it doesn´t matter, the fence isn´t charged anymore, but old habits die hard.

I think in going to the lake, but I'm so weak that I barely reach my reunion point with Gale. I sit in the rock, thinking that he may appear quietly as always, i close my eyes and count to 10 a couple of times, hoping that he´ll appear then i doze off.

I wake up confused in the sofa by the fireplace, thinking, if i really went to the woods or just dream of it, but then I see the bow and quiver lay against the wall, maybe Thom found me and brought me back home and I could see that it was afternoon because the twilight and the dust motes spinning in the thin shafts of light.

My head turns violent when I heard the hissing, and I see him, but How he come here?, Still in disbelief i watch him, he got some mark from some wild animal, and he walk funny, and he´s never been that thin, he´s back from thirteen, kicked out of there or maybe, he couldn´t bare be without her, so he came.

-It was the waste of a trip. She´s not here. - I tell him and he hissed back.- She´s not here, You can hiss me all you want, You won´t find Prim.- The sound of her name, moves something in that cat, he´s alert now, and his ears up, and starts meow.

-Get out- I yelled, but he dodges the pillow. -Go, There´s nothing left for you here. I said trembling as I stand up. -She´s not going back. She´s never going back.- I took another pillow and tried to kick that stupid cat with it, but I fell and tears start running throw my cheeks. - She´s dead, stupid cat, Prim is dead.

And both of us start to crying, He must understand that the unthinkable had happened, and I realize that it´s the first time that i let myself cry Prim´s death.


	4. Chapter 4

Hours later I found myself in my bedroom, still tears on my cheeks, my head hurts, and by the moonlight I can see that Buttercup is by my side, watching over me.

I don´t know how long I been crying, and it seems that even asleep I did it, but I feel tired, and very thirsty, so I sit on my bed and I see him, sitting next by my bed.

-Peeta- It´s all I can managed to say before the tears and sobs begin again, and before I fall, Peeta took me in his arms, and in a instant I felt how his warmness embrace my coldness dead body. He sat on the bed carrying me in his arms as a child as I was still sobbing.

After a minutes he uncover my face.- There- He say giving me a glass of water , which I drink slowly in sips until the sobs stops. I finished the water, but I still want more.

- Wait, I´ll bring you more. He said.

And as he goes, buttercup took his place and cuddle by my side.

When Peeta´s back, I drink two more glasses after I lay down again

-Try to get some rest Katniss.- Says Peeta heartwarming

I'm tempted to ask him, to stay with me, so I can feel his arms and his warmness in what is my worst night, when my shield is finally down, but i won´t do it. And my words linger in my toungue, and all I do is watch his beautiful blue eyes, where apart of my pain I see his.

-Always, Katniss.- He whisper as he close his eyes.

Now I´m huddled between Peeta and Buttercup, but I can´t stop crying and the sobs are back, and I buried my head in Peeta´s chest, meanwhile his hand strokes my back comforting until the sobs ends and I doze off but the nightmares begin.

I know this scene, I'm sitting by a tree, given up, it's so cold, I'm starving under the rain, then Peeta appears with the bread that saved my life, right away I found myself in other scene, which it´s complete new for me, but i do know the place, the meadow, and I do know one person, Prim, who´s in front of me and tears run down my face, I wanted to talk, say something, but I couldn´t, so I just hug her and I kiss her forehead for the last time, then Prim take my hand and point with her hand the dandelions, radiant by the sun.

As we walk toward, Peeta appears rounded by the dandelions, and holding one on his hand, smiling at me.

One more time, Prim points, this time at Peeta, and released my hand, I took the dandelion of Peeta´s hand and Prim gives me a goodbye smile before she dissapear, and before that something else happen I woke up suddenly with tears on my eyes running down my face. –PRIM!. I cried.

-I can´t make away your nightmares anymore. I´m sorry. – Petta said serious.

A sigh came out of me, and I try to compose myself before saying a word. - I don´t know if it had been a nightmare.- I said as i watch his shirt wet by my tears. -I´m sorry.

-It´s okay, don´t worry, uhhmm, You had this when I found you down stairs.- He said. I know the letter, It´s the one that Haymitch gave me, the one from my mother´s.

-I´ll make breakfast.- Peeta said.

I nod, and he go out of the room, maybe giving me time, knowing about the letter, but it´s okay, that doesn´t upsets me.

Before i open it, buttercup starts to meow and I see his paw, which has a spine. -I´m sorry- And he start to meow again we both end up crying one more time, but we have each other. He is my last connection with prim.

With a rising force of nowhere, I opened the letter, and dialed the number on the phone. And I talk with my mom and cry one more time with her by the phone. - I´m sorry for everything, I´m sorry I didn´t call before.- I try to say while I was sobbing.

- It´s Ok, Katniss, I knew, you were going to need time for yourself, I´m sorry I couldn´t come back with you, it´s just... - And I heard her crying.

-I know mom. - I said trying to be strong for both of us, like I used to do it, but this time I can´t

We spoke for a few minute more before we hang up, and took a few minute more to compose myself before I went to the kitchen, where I found breakfast, Greasy Sae, Millie, Peeta and my Cheese buns, Peeta knows those are my favorites.

-What´s your name pretty little girl? - Peeta asked to Millie

-Millie- She said shyly.

-What a cheese bun Millie, they´re delicious, are katniss´s favorites.- He said blinking at her.

-Yes please. - The little girl said.

-Well Millie, You can have all the cheese buns that you want- He said with a smile fascinated by Millie. Peeta was the kind of person who wants kids, I wasn´t hard to figure it out.

I was eating breakfast, and I give my bacon to Buttercup. I was trying to convince Greasy Sae, that she doesn't have to come twice at day, that I´m taking at lot of her time, but she ignored me, and finally to shut me up, she agreed to come once at day by lunch.

I was just finished my plate without realizing that I was falling sleep on the table, but Greasy Sae voice woke me up. - You should get some rest child.

No ..- But she didn´t let me finish.

-Don´t worry, I´ll clean the kitchen and I´ll leave the lunch ready just for eat it. -She added.

-Thanks.

-Come on Katniss, I´ll walk you.- And he took my hand, and I felt a faint tickling on it. He walked me to my room where he shut down the curtains because the rising sun.

He lay me on my bed and I feel how he lose my hand and right away my eyes opened wide.

- Don´t go.- I couldn´t help it.

He took my hand again, and i pull it, so he lie down next to me, but he didn't, He just kneels defeated next to the bed and I cold see his distressed gaze and also the same anguish in my eyes reflected on his.

He look down and I can´t not see his dainty face anymore.

Peeta- I said worried.

-Katniss, I cannot continue, as if nothing ever happened, as if hadn´t done things wrong.- He said, then he sigh- That I didn´t try to kill you that time or that I didn´t hurt you with those words, I´m sorry for everything, for Prim, For your pain, Everything.

I took his face to see him, and I realize he´s crying

-Peeta- I say gently feeling his pain.

-Truth is, that I didn't want to come back till I was cured, Now nightmares comes, but I just have to breath, close my eyes, think of you, and they fade away, I came here looking for you, looking for your pardon, so, I´m sorry for everything- He said brokenhearted

- No Peeta, listen, I'm sorry, for all the bad things, all that I put you through, I´m sorry, Peeta, I was a fool, I...- And before he says something, I put my lips against his, tentatively, and there it is, the spark, the fire that I felt only a few times, like when I kiss him on the beach and in the cave.

I took off gently to see his face one more time, and he does the same, he took mi face daintily on his hands and kisses my forehead. And it´s shock waving feelings that stroke my dead body, I thought I was never gonna felt this way again, and those feelings remember me that I´m alive.

Peeta lie down next to me, stroking my hair until I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Short chapter….What would you like me to write about in next chapters?

When i wake up, I realized that it's almost night, but the twilight still illuminates the sky and Peeta´s watching me.

-Hey- says

-No nightmares- and I felt a little smile drawing my face.

-It´s because you were exhausted, I´m not longer your dream catcher- He said trying to hide his sadness.

-It does matter, someone said, quote; "I'm okay once I realize you're here" Real or not real?

And he prop himself in one elbow to see me face to face.

-Real- He said

And then he kiss me softly, when he pull me apart, it´s me who embrace him in a second kiss, and there´s that warmness and security that only Peeta made me feel before. Flashback, I remember the dream of the last night, Prim, Peeta adn the dandelion. Dandelion, I remember the day after Peeta gave me the breads, I had just turned away from Peeta Mellark's bruised face when I saw the dandelion and I knew hope wasn't lost, that i knew what I need it was the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. That things get better.

And only Peeta could and can give me that.

After kissing, Peeta look at me and stroke my face gently.

-I have something that belongs to you.- He said looking in the pocket of his jacket and he holds his hand waiting for mine, and he drop his pearl, mi pearl, the one he gave me in the beach.

-Peeta.- I felt my voice fail.

I kiss the cold pearl in my hands, with my eyes closed, remembering the time in the beach with him.

-You love me? Real or not real? - He said whispering in my ear, bringing me back to the present

And other Flashback stroke my mind I remember all the time I spent with him. Some of them, happy, others sad, but real's. And i realize something that I never wanted to accept before, My love for Peeta begin before I thought it, in those games that break me in a thousand pieces and destroyed all I wanted, and maybe even before when he was only the boy with the bread, my boy with the bread there was something special about him, those game destroyed me, but in change I won him, and I love him.

I open my eyes and I see his worried gaze, I kiss the tip of his nose before answer. - Real.- And then I hug him.


End file.
